Dual....:-)
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize