I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
