Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
