My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
