shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
