im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
my poor anus
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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