why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
