Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
