First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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