i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
