Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
