just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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