I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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