Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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