i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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