okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
