thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
