I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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