i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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