I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
