And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
