Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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