If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
