she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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