My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
