Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Vodka?
Forever.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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