Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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