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i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
