Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he was CRYING into my vagina
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
