He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize