There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
