i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
