I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She bit a glass in half.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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