Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
