I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize