So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
