i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
