Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize