Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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