Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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