And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
