if i died would you start the facebook group?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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