check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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