That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
