names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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