If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
