I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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