so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
