Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
love makes seman taste better
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize