Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
