Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
