a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
