Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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