I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
