I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
