Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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