Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
