You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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