i was rollin on her like bob the builder
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
