check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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