i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
