You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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